College Football's Bottom 25 Fictional Bowl Week and Coaching Carousel
The Quintuple C, home of the RaboBank Bandit Bowl
I know I like to joke around a bit here and many of these B25 teams do seem to spend a lot of time in the poll, year after year, but I would like to note that both Arizona State and Indiana finished last year in the final B25 poll of 2023 and both are now among the 12 contenders in the playoff for the National Championship.
Things can change fast in the era of the portal and NIL deals. Florida State barely missed the National title playoff last year and were 2-10 this season, ranked at #6 in the B25 of 2024. Eight teams, beyond the two mentioned in the paragraph above, are also in real bowl games this season after being in the B25 final poll of 2023. To give credit where due, congratulations to Vanderbilt, East Carolina, Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Baylor, Sam Houston, UConn and Colorado for propelling themselves up from the depths of college football into the daylight.
THE FICTIONAL BOWLS
This year’s Lower Alabama Pest Control Association Palmetto Bug Bowl features #9, the Ball State Marginals taking on the #23 Wake Forest Lemon Demons. The winner of this contest gets to pick playing in the MAC or the ACC next year, while the loser gets the conference that wasn't picked.
The Flagstaff Turkey Ranchers Council Pine Tree Bowl will be changing its name to the Unofficial Shula Bowl, as #25 Florida International and #18 Florida Atlantic renew their minor rivalry in Arizona for the second year in a row.
B25 #4, the Massachusetts Minute-men and the #19 Temple Fowls #3 are this year's traditionally Northeastern foes that annually vie for The Vinnie Barbazza Memorial Brooklyn Bowl trophy.
The Greater Murfreesboro John Deere Dealer's Lawn Bowl should naturally feature a local school, the #15 Middle Tennessee State Blue Faiders, playing as the visitors against hosts Wyoming, with the Cowboils #2 coming in ranked 20th.
The Wisconsin State Fair Fried Cheese Curd Bowl pits somewhat locals, the Purdue Shotandabeers, #4 in the final poll hosting the visiting #6 Florida State Semi-gnomes, with both big conference squads making their WSFFCCB debuts.
The Peachtree City Golf Cart Bowl specializes in rematches,
this time a replay of a CUSA Bummer Bowl featuring a local squad, the #5 Kennesaw State Fowls #1 hosting #17, the UTEP Minors. The Minors won the previous game 43-35.
The Circle K Convenience Bowl is back again at Terre Haute’s famed Diet RC Cola Dome. This year’s game features #16, the New Mexico State Loblos taking on the #10 Tulsa Golden Bore-icane. Keep in mind that Indiana played in this game last season and one year later are one of the 12 finalists vying in the National Championship playoff.
The Farm Bureau Meet In The Middle Bowl always features an East versus West matchup. The western entrant is the #20 San Diego State Azwrecs hosting the eastern squad, the #11 Georgia State Panters #1. The game will take place in parts unknown near the geographical center of the contiguous United States. Those who can find it (which means the crowd will look like a typical GSU home game) are welcome to attend, free of charge and, as always, both teams will be forced to wear their road uniforms. This game also featured another team last year, Arizona State, who is in the playoff this year.
The Desert Southwest Arid Bowl, played yearly at Deming Community College's famous Jose Snedeker Memorial Stadium will pit one team tied at #25, the Rice Fowls #4 and another tied for 20th, the Wyoming Cowboils #2.
The Tupelo Elvis Bowl is the battle to claim the famed Golden Sideburn Trophy. It is entirely fitting that it should pit the Nevada Wolfcack, #8 in the poll against #7, the home state Mississippi State Dulldogs. Who will grab the mic and take that Hip Shakin’, Rump Rattlin’ trophy?
The Delaware Professional Fisherman's Fund Quahog Bowl will
return with a matchup between a coastal team, #12, the Stanford Marginal, returning once again and ranked in the same spot as last year against the host squad, the #22 Maryland Terriblepins. It will be the 4th straight DPFFQ Bowl for the Marginal.
The Chick-Fil-A O’ Beef O’ Brady’s Tilted Kilt Restaurant Battle Bowl returns to its permanent home inside the Mall of America for a second year in a row, pleasing the Metropolitan Stadium ghosts. This year’s matchup is between #14, the UAB Lazy-ers and #24, the Kentucky Mildcats, will be for the coveted Grilled Buffalo Cheesesteak Salad Cup Trophy. And hey, why not, let's throw in the early lead in the National League Central Division again for a second year in a row, for no other reason than tradition.
The #13 Oklahoma State Cowboils #1 host the DHMers Akron in a new bowl this season, which was created due to all of the ties in the final poll. It is known as the RaboBank Bandit Bowl. The winner of this game played in Los Banos, California at the Central California Community College Campus Stadium (aka, the Quintuple C), gets the D.B. Cooper Cup and $1 million in stolen prize money, but the entire team must go on the lam and play the next two seasons in the CFL.
The Dr. Scholl’s Unchampionship Relegation Bowl, the second
Black Sheep Cousin Of All Bowl Games, features relegation to the FCS for the
loser each year. Number one for a second year in a row (I guess they either "won" last year or this relegation thing isn't really happening), the Kent
State Golden Flashless host #2, the Southern Mississippi Golden Favres to determine who gets relegation to the FCS, where they
likely would go 6-6 next season.
See ya next season!
THE COACHING CAROUSEL
Comments
Post a Comment